I'm not looking for you to see like me, feel like me, or be like me

While I like my little routines (bread with pepperjack cheese for breakfast... making my lunch the night before... really, really hot showers), at times I'm afraid that they make my life a little monotonous, as opposed to comfortably reliable.

I really like my jobs, and maybe it's just February (it SNOWED two days ago), but at this point working on an organic farm in Nicaragua or Honduras for an indefinite period of time is beginning to sound more and more appealing.

Aaaaand I don't want to miss my bus.

Expect a really great entry I've been working on (time! where is the time?!) the Civil War and death this weekend. I like writing long book review-based entries, but that style may find itself replaced by the short sound-byte style above, 24-hour AP news cycle, for the time being... at least until I figure out how to cram more hours into my day. Depressingly enough, getting my own computer so I don't have to use Corey's would help.

Have you ever...

... spent a lot of money on a plane ticket, and suddenly find yourself making excuses like "family is important", "we never get to see each other, only on holidays" and "Grandma's geting old"?

This doesn't stop me from feeling slightly ill.

At least Corey's making a lot of money playing poker.

whoa

that was a ridiculously long work session. definitely a record. it was worth it, because the result is 18 pages 1.5 spaced! and a lot of it's good writing too! more again tonight. and it's going to be for the scary books i've been avoiding, too. well, now is the time for sleep.

but briefly, here are some of the thoughts running through my head these days, which basically involve me sitting at the living room table literally all day, scrounging carrots, celery and chocolate, while impressing my housemates with my prodigious amounts of books:
- man, the life of an academic intelectual is hard. so monkish. so committed. you've just locked away all day in hermetic isolation, you and your brain and your books. thinking great thoughts, writing great things. yep.
- i wonder where my spring break went to. i know that it pretty much broke my brain
- this week is going to hurt (thought every day since march 14th)
- hey! I actually really like this topic! this is actually really interesting, and i am really a pretty good writer! man, I wish I'd worked on this more during the school year.
- man, i really wish i'd read blanchot earlier. like, in november when my advisor told me to. it would have made my life a tad easier.
- i wish i could go to the beach/bar/party/resteraunt with corey and his visiting cousin from new orleans, but i can't because i-have-to-work-on-my-thesis-i-havetowork-onmythesis ihavetoworkonmythesis ihahiiihjihtttthhhhshshshshssi
- SLEEP is for the weak! RARWR! (only last night; before then i was getting up at 11am every day and going to bed at midnight)
- i don't like how i've somehow regressed to the stage where the lakers not winning makes me annoyed
- i wish i could stop grinding my teeth; my jaw hurts
- I had no idea that there was a difference between a headache and a brainache, but there is!